Well, the first post…….hmm no pressure then. A number of years ago, when I first thought about writing down my thoughts for the world to share, the “first post” wasn’t something I worried about. But much later, now that I’ve actually stopped procrastinating and started a blog – well now the pressure’s much greater. Now you can win awards for “first posts”, now there are hundreds of thousands of blogs out there, all vying for our attention with witty and pithy comments.
So what should a first post be? Shall we get the introductions and life history out-of-the-way or should we dive straight into something more controversial? Why am I writing this blog anyway? That is an interesting question – why does anyone blog? A desire to write? To tell our life story? To make friends? Ease the loneliness? Just simply to have fun?
So why am I writing this….well for some time I’ve been finding myself having long – and quite complicated – conversations with myself in my head. They are usually driven by events in “my chaotic life” and often driven by the people that co-exist in my chaotic life. I find it therapeutic to talk through what I want to or should have said to people or in particular situations and I cling to the hope (?) that talking them through in this way (even though its only with myself) will make things clearer. (Or make me less mad at events – or people!).
So who am I and why is my life chaotic. Well I’m a forty-something married mother of two small girls, with a demanding full-time job (which I squeeze into 4 days) and a husband about whom I’m ambivalent at the moment (more later perhaps). I eat too much, talk too much, worry too much, stress too much and probably drink too much but I don’t smoke – so that’s one vice less!
My life often feels like an incredibly fast treadmill on which I must keep running, interesting and beautiful things pass by me while I’m on there but I daren’t stop running long enough to look or enjoy them in case the treadmill keeps going without me and I’m flung flat on my face. There are so many things I would like to do and several that I should do – but keeping my head above water maternally, professionally and socially is just about all I can manage at the moment.
So there we are…..first post completed….didn’t feel too bad, in fact I quite like it here…..think I’ll return sometime.